I’m the Best. Housekeeper. Ever.

1 09 2009

We’re in the process of refinancing our home. This is akin to paying someone to torture you as long as they promise you a little bit of money later. Of course, refinancing requires a current appraisal of said home.

The first appraiser (we’ll call him “Bob”) was lovely. Bob complimented our home, went through each room meticulously and took copious measurements. He was there for about 30 minutes, during which time we chatted about kids, marriage and life in general. I liked Bob very much, especially after he appraised our home at $24,000 more than we originally paid for it.

Appraiser #2 (we’ll call him “Dumbass”) spent about 2 minutes measuring things and then left. Dumbass appraised my home at $4,000 more than we paid for it.

Yes, you read that right. There was a $20,000 difference between the two appraisals.

This leaves me with only one conclusion: I have mad housekeeping skillz. Because the only difference in our home was the state of cleanliness. It was near-immaculate (as near as I get, anyway) for Bob, but when Dumbass came over, it looked like a small bomb had been detonated in the living room.

So if anyone needs a housekeeper, give me a call. It’ll only set you back $20,000.




One response

3 09 2009

why did you need 2 appraisals? and seriously, it should take way longer than 2 minutes for an appraisal. i give mr. dumbass 2 thumbs down. a pox on dumbass!

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