Lessons from the Bible

3 02 2010

Today I was reading to my son from the book “Children in the Bible.” I’d claim some kind of credit for being a fabulous mother who constantly reads religious text to her kids, but I have to be honest–Big G brought it over and asked me to read it. The first story is “Joseph and His Rainbow Coat.” There are a few things I’d like to share from this single-paragraph story.

“Joseph dreamt strange dreams as well. “Your grain bowed down to my grain,” he told his brothers. This made them angry.” I’m trying to come up with something clever and funny to say about this, but really, I can’t improve on the sheer hilarity of those sentences. I particularly love that there’s no explanation of what his dream meant.

I also love the ending: “So they sold Joseph as a slave to Egyptian traders, and told their father he was killed by a wild beast. But God kept Joseph safe and, in time, reunited him with his family.” I realize they only have a paragraph to relate the pertinent facts of Joseph’s life, but really? We’re going with the idea that nothing important happened in the meantime?

Also amusing: The story of Miriam and Moses. “Miriam’s mother, Jochebed, hid her son in a basket and placed it by the river. “See what happens,” Jochebed said to Miriam.” For some reason this sounds (to me, and I think we all know I’m a rather twisted individual) like there was a conversation along these lines: “Hey, Miriam, why don’t you stick your brother’s basket in the water and see what happens!”

It’s entirely possible this is only amusing to me because I can see Big G being totally on board if we tried that with Little G. “Look, mom! Look! He’s floating! He’s floating down the river! The basket fell over! HA! Look, mom! He’s all wet! That’s funny!”

All 4-year-old display sociopathic tendencies, right? RIGHT?




2 responses

3 02 2010

Oh my word!!!! I so very much agree, and I can just see that happening with my 4 year old as well!

3 03 2010
Erika Hill

Yeah, it’s kind of amazing how crazy some Bible stories can be when you leave out important details…there are still some there that I feel like we’re missing information on. Really she-bear, did you need the maul the kids for calling the prophet bald? I mean, yes, he was the prophet, but I can think of much worse things. This leads me to believe that some author–perhaps not unlike the authors of the book you were reading to Big G–thought, “Yeah, this story is too complicated. Let’s just go with the mauling.”

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